Akatsuki Camping
by ToxicManipulator
Summary: Little humorous skits of the members of Akatsuki. First chapter only experimental, so for now it's a one-shot. If liked well enough by readers, I'll add more. Readers beware! Hilarity may ensue!


_**Chapter 1**_

A trait all members of the Akatsuki seemed to share was their quirkiness. It was this trait that made the organization so unique and feared. Feared, because humans fear that which they do not understand. Misunderstood, because of their quirky nature. Quirky, because they either suffered tragic or unlucky events earlier in their lives.

It was a cold misty night, with many stars to be seen in the night sky. Though it was dark, a small light could be seen in the darkness. Said light, was generated by a small campfire.

Two figures could be seen sitting near a campfire in hope of getting some heat. The one figure, the tallest of the two, wore an ebony colored cloak, fitted with clouds, crimson in color. He had an unnatural blue colored skin and hair, with gills as odd facial features. Another odd trait of this man, was his sunken in eyes that shared an eery resemblance to that of a shark

The other figure was a black haired male with coal black eyes. He also wore the same cloak as his blue skinned acquaintance. Had someone else beened asked their opinion of his looks, they would no doubt say that he look like a 'pretty boy', or bishounen. Both he, and his companion were shivering slightly, thanks to the cold weather.

Ever so slighty, the blue skinned male edged closer his companion, then grinned slightly when he felt 'some' of the cold go away.

"Kisame..."

The blue haired male's eyes widened panicked. "H-hai, Itachi-kun?"

The raven haired boy turned narrow accusing eyes to his companion. "Why... are you sitting so close to me?"

Kisame waves his hands infront of him placatingly, only to stuff them back inside his coat when they started freezing. "Eh heh heh! I'm trying to get warm by... y'know... huddling or something."

Itachi's narrowed even more. "And where, pray tell, did you find out that this, this... 'huddling' would generate heat?"

The blue haired male grinned sheepishly. "Eh... Deidara-chan! She told me!"

Itachi rose an eyebrow. "You do realise that Deidara is male... right?"

Kisame's jaw dropped. "What!? No way! T-that's i-impossible!"

The raven haired male blinked, perplexed. "I'm certain that Deidara had a thyroid cartilage the last time I checked."

The sharkman looked blankly at his companion. Itachi sighed. "An Adam's apple, you idiot."

Kisame's face lit up in recognition, as if a light bulb hit been turned on. "Oh! But... but... I saw Deidara reading girly magazine's in his room last time! Y'know... 'those' magazines.", he said letting out a shiver at the mere thought of those magazines.

At the blank look on Itachi's face, Kisame elaborated. "You know... those books... the really girly ones! With the pink and glitter, and all that girly crap! You know!?"

Itachi's only response was his eyes blinking. The sharkman sighed. "The book's content usually consists of 20 yaoi material, 30 relationship advice and quizes, 20 content of female clothing and under garments and 30 about how to properly do your nails and hair or something stupid..."

When Itachi's face lit up in understanding, the blue haired male groaned. "Damnit Itachi-kun! Why can't you ever understand something without statistics?"

Kisame's companion merely shrugged. "Statistics are more accurate Kisame-san. And if what you say is true, I'll have to... acquire some of these... 'magazines' as you put it."

The blue haired male's eyes widened horrified. "What!? No...! But...! Can't...! I thought..!" He seemed to calm down after taking a quick breath and counting up to ten. After having calmed down, Kisame stared oddly at his companion. "Geeze Itachi-kun, I never realized you were into doing other gu-..."

Kisame never finished his sentence as he found a kunai at his throat. His eyes widened and turned, panicked to the raven haired boy. "I'm not homosexual, if that's what you're implying, Kisame-san."

The blue haired male nodded, much too quickly for the safety of his neck, but sighed in relief when the kunai was removed. "So if you're not, then why would you want to get those, those, THOSE ABOMINATIONS!", he yelled shooting nervous glances around him.

Itachi sighed, and turned to the blue haired male. "Fool. Do you not realize how valuable the relationship information in that book is? What if either of us had to infiltrate somewhere in order to gather information, and our roles required someone good with 'relationships'."

The blue haired male nodded, now having been enlightened. His companion never gave him the chance to cool down, though. "Besides, those tips on proper hair and nail care will definitely be put to good use..", he said admiring his well manicured right hand's nails, while fondling his pony tail in his left hand.

Kisame's jaw gaped, but he kept silent in favor of living to see another day. _'Better not bring it up... He's so damn unpredictable, it's impossible to have a lasting conversation with him. Geeze.'_

Kisame was brought out of his thoughts when Itachi stood up. "We better get some sleep Kisame-san, we need to reach our destination by tomorrow."

The blue haired male nodded and gave his verbal agreement. "Hai, I'll put up the detection perimeters."

Itachi nodded, and started walking to his tent. He paused right before entering his tent, his back faced to Kisame. "Oh, and Kisame?"

The sharkman turned to his companion. "Hmm?"

"If you tell ANYONE of our conversation tonight, I'll eviscerate, mutilate, disembowel and rend you until you're close to losing consciousness and leave your near lifeless body in a hole until you eventually... perish.", he said drowning the surrounding area in killing intent for extra effect.

Kisame's eyes widened, but he nodded.

"H-h-hai!"

"Good.", Itachi chirped.

XreviewX

Yo! Just a little idea i've been playing with, tell me what you think!

Ja ne,

T.M.


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